Do you ever feel embarrassed because of your own “personal” crazy parts? I know I do!  We all have some form or fashion of crazy within us.  We all have our faults that make us part of who we are (good and bad). No one is perfect – contrary to what Facebook tells us.  There are just some people out there who try to pretend.  My personal crazy usually involves my anxiety. Recently I had an episode of terrible heart burn in the middle of the night and was certain I was going to have a heart attack and die in my sleep. My poor little brain (as my husband calls it) was a HOT MESS!  Ok so this was last night – LOL…  And yes I can laugh at myself now.  A thousand what if’s circled in my head. Did I say a thousand what if’s circled in my head?  OMG what if this….. OMG what if that…. OMG OMG OMG OMG… I am learning that when I say those words, it’s not me talking, it’s my anxiety talking (or really my anxious feelings talking).  I know it seems quite extreme but if you google heart attack vs heart burn the symptoms are very similar.  We all know the absolute worst thing you can do is google your symptoms (especially when you are in panic/anxiety mode). Google is NOT your friend and at 1:30 am in the morning it will always be the worst case scenario. What does this have to do with embracing the crazy? Well for me – it’s accepting that I have this part of me that always believes I am going to have a heart attack and die suddenly when I have heart burn. It’s a part of me that gets travel anxiety. It’s a part of me that worries what people think and makes me suck in my stomach in a little tighter.  It’s at part of me that sometimes may think the worst of a situation. And it’s a part of me that has anxious feelings sometimes. The key word here is PART. It’s a part of me. Just like it’s a part of you.  I’ve always tried to make these parts just go away. Worst of all, I’ve always been embarrassed when these parts show their ugly faces. I’ve tried to hide these parts of “crazy” but they are part of me. By embracing our crazy we are also embracing our own faults. I realized this interesting fact as I took extremely deep breaths and tried to see if it hurt to breathe that I was being “crazy.” I looked in the mirror a thousand times and stuck out my tongue (you do this if you google heart attack symptoms and it means your face is dropping).  As long as my tongue looks normal in the mirror and my smile is even, I am not dying. Damn you Google!  I wish google had a disclaimer that said – If you are suffering from any anxiety or panic, DO NOT complete any searches right now. Come back later! How awesome would that be?  I can’t tell you how many times I would ask my husband if he thought I was having a heart attack? He too knows the second he hears me say those two little words – “WHAT IF” that it’s purely my anxiety talking.  In my messy journey, I am trying to step back and realize this is just part of my crazy and that is totally OK! I am OK! These crazy parts of me are OK and they are just that – parts of me. They do not define me! By not allowing these parts to define us, we can learn (very slowly) to embrace our own crazy!

May we all learn to embrace our own crazy parts!