YES It’s ME

By now you have probably read my personal Facebook post and know – It’s ME – Robin Saddler! I was very nervous and excited to admit that this blog is truly mine. It’s a very vulnerable, terrifying and liberating feeling.  It went live last week under my grandmother’s maiden name, Margaret Leeds. My grandmother suffered from depression so it seemed only natural to use her name.  I have long dreamed of writing a book and using her name as my “pen” name. I’ve been writing privately for years and even had a story published in Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul during college. If I could manifest anything for myself – I would write a book and be recognized by Oprah Winfrey. She’s my idol – she speaks her truth with honor, respect, and dignity.  She acknowledges her past but forgives her past and herself.  She inspires me with her words. Someday, maybe I hope to inspire her with my words.

Initially when I first launched this blog, I was excited and relieved. I’ve tried doing this for over a year and just couldn’t muster the courage. By using a pen name, I knew deep down I just wasn’t being authentic to myself or anyone reading the blog.  It took a panic attack, a painful implant, a migraine and a ton of life stress to finally spur me to fight the fear and be REAL.  I was also deeply saddened by the news of Kate Spade. It doesn’t seem fair! She built an amazing empire but yet didn’t seek HELP!  She didn’t want anyone to know of her struggles. She would have been amazing to tell her story and inspire anyone suffering.  If I can help even one person with my own messy journey, then it’s worth being exposed. I was told once that I am a wounded healer.  I will no longer be embarrassed or ashamed because I have anxious feelings. ACCEPTANCE is key.  I will accept my anxious feelings and learn to practice self compassion.  I watched the movie “A Wrinkle in Time” last night and during that movie I learned a valuable life lesson from Oprah (of course).

• Embrace your faults.
• You are beautiful just as you are.
• You have to go toward the pain/fear to heal.

So my friends, I am embracing my faults. I get very anxious feelings sometimes, I have panic attacks, I worry a thousand what ifs, I have some OCD/perfectionism, I worry what people think, I hold onto too much BS, I’m currently trying to face my fears (which is NOT fun), and I’m trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

If you haven’t seen the movie “A Wrinkle in Time” go see it and EMBRACE YOUR FAULTS! Thank you for following me!