The SHOULDS = The SHITS

Welcome to the world of anxiety and how it makes me you feel like you SHOULD be what you aren’t.

• I SHOULD be doing something else…
• I SHOULDN’T be feeling this way…
• I SHOULD be better than I am…
• I SHOULD be skinnier…
• I SHOULD exercise more…
• I SHOULDN’T wear those shorts or that dress…
• I SHOULD have more money…
• I SHOULD be more…
• I SHOULD have done better…
• I SHOULD have tried harder…
• I SHOULDN’T have gone backwards…
• I SHOULDN’T feel anxious…
• I SHOULDN’T eat that food…

It gets worse the moment you start trying to control other people and believe “they SHOULD” do certain things.

• They SHOULD do things the way I would do it…
• They SHOULD say the things I would say… (Or really what I want them to say).
• They SHOULDN’T do it like that… (This is usually the way my husband loads the dishwasher – but I’d dare not tell him).
• They SHOULD like me…
• They SHOULD act different…

And we get upset when people and situations don’t go the way we want, plan, hope, or need.  But guess what – We only have the power over OURSELVES.  We do NOT have power over another person or a situation. The POWER is how we CHOOSE to handle that person or that situation. WE can only control OURSELVES!  We only have the power to STOP “Shoulding” ourselves and STOP “Shitting” ourselves.

You see, every time we say the word SHOULD our anxiety is actually talking.  The anxiety is trying to make you second guess yourself.  The anxiety is trying to make other people fit into a nice neat little box (which we know that life doesn’t work that way).  Every time we say SHOULD, we are actually shitting on ourselves.  The SHOULDS = The SHITS. 

I don’t know about you but I am tired of shitting on myself and being my own worst enemy.  I am tired of an insecure thought turning into a spiral.  I know I have written before about literally being shit on by the sea-gull at the beach. It’s one thing to actually be shit on and another to shit on ourselves.  I am trying to find that balance and so darn on hard on myself to make it happen immediately and now and OMG.  In this moment, I challenge myself and you to just STOP – PAUSE – BREATHE – AND BE GRATEFUL.  There are no worries for tomorrow and there are no tears for the past.

We are ENOUGH and we SHOULD accept that. 

And that is the only SHOULD you SHOULD say!