HUMOR

Good Morning my friends, I started the day by posting a few inspirational quotes. I must say that I am thoroughly overwhelmed by the heart-felt responses I have received. Thank you to everyone who is following this blog and stepping out of the silence.  The news this week has been more than daunting. I don’t know about you, but the news has always made me anxious. I always end up worrying about a car jacking, a murder, an abduction, or a fire. I wish the top headlines were about people helping people. The media focuses so much on the negative, it’s pretty much impossible to not be anxious. Why can’t we hear more about the good things? Why can’t we hear about the fighters, the survivors and the heroes/heroines (note I say heroines too because women count)?  I could personally care less about Kloe Kardashian’s baby daddy or the number of crimes/murders the city has already had.  I’d rather hear about hope and love and support in our communities and cities.

So today, I have decided to keep the TV off. I am going to “try” to keep my phone down. And I am going to focus on NOW – this moment and the beautiful Carolina blue skies – but with a side of humor. Anyone who really knows me, knows that I love a good “stupid” joke, even a dirty one (I am not offended). My husband calls my humor “Joe Bazooka,” you know like the chewing gum we had when we were kids with the cartoon jokes. Yup that’s me. My kids even roll their eyes at me. But in the depths of my anxiety, being silly ALWAYS makes me feel better. Making people smile and laugh (and making myself laugh) – ALWAYS makes me feel better. I must say I do laugh at my jokes too! With that said, I am going to share some of my favorite jokes to laugh at, roll your eyes, and wonder what I was thinking, if but for a moment, to make you laugh and forget about being anxious. Now if these jokes don’t work for you and you happen to have Alexa at home, you must ask Alexa to tell a knock-knock joke, a dirty joke, and “a yo momma so fat joke.” 🙂 Or ask Siri on your iPhone what 0 times 0 is? 

Here are my favorite jokes: (I hope you enjoy them as much as I do) 

• How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  5, 1 to do it and 4 to brag about how good he was.
• How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the bath tub…
• How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it
• What’s black and white and red all over? A sun burnt zebra
• What did one pencil say to the other pencil? My you look sharp
• Want to hear a dirty joke? The pig fell in the mud
• What’s the difference between a snow man and a snow woman? Snow balls
• How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? Pull down your pants and show him your nuts
• Why did the cow cross the road? It wanted to go to the mooovies.
• What has four legs, one foot and one head?  A bed
• Why is the butt divided vertically and not horizontally?  It would clap nicely if you ran down the stairs… Ok, now stop imaging it!

Have a great Saturday! STOP – PAUSE – BREATHE – LAUGH – And maybe even tinkle in your panties a little from laughing!