Perfectionism is the desire for everyone and everything to be perfect. Order. Balance. Control.

(From the book Yoga for Anxiety) – Perfectionism is a force that stomps on compassion and squelches happiness. A relentless pressure, perfectionist thinking doesn’t have a clue about your inherent value, so it gives you strict guidelines about how to make yourself into a good-enough somebody.  No wonder, its closely linked to anxiety.  If you  suffer from wanting to be perfect (or wanting everything around you to be perfect), you have recurring thoughts about following rules; meeting high expectations; and reinforcing rigid, moralistic standards.  With perfectionism as a driving force in your life, you may believe that you can earn and reinforce self-worth by strict guidelines and achieving very specific results.

If you suffer from perfectionism, you may be addicted to work, having a perfect body, or being a perfect person. The urgent pressure to be perfect and the resulting isolation can cause high and chronic anxiety – and cause you to be less and less aware of your sacred essence. Although perfectionism is painful and causes high anxiety, other people may not see the perfectionist’s suffering. On the outside, it may look as though you’re highly motivated and in charge.

I have definitely fallen into the perfectionism trap.  I wanted to be perfect at work, perfect at home, perfect hair, perfect clothes, it goes on and on, etc. But inside I was worried what everyone was thinking and feared something bad would happen. I used to worry way too much what people thought of me good and bad. And also worried about something happening around me and not being able to handle it. I mentally said “I can’t” way too many times. I know that was anxiety talking. The anxiety says “I can’t” and “what if” and makes us second guess ourselves. The anxiety makes us PEE on today!  I wanted everyone to think the way I did and things to go the way I wanted/planned. When it didn’t happen the way I planned, I became very anxious.  Things don’t go as planned… Life doesn’t go as planned. Things do happen, but it’s all about how we deal with those things. It’s not about the storms going on around you, it’s about learning to play in the rain!

Going forward I challenge myself and everyone else to practice the PAUSE!

When you are anxious, say to yourself, “Breathe and let it be. I will practice relaxing my body. I will practice witnessing my fearful thoughts, and I get on my knees daily to pray not only for strength to accept life as it is but also for the ability to enjoy life as it is!”